The marking of the New Year is a time so many of us make decisions to take on new steps towards improving ourselves and our lives. Unfortunately, too often these steps last no more than a few days or weeks before old patterns sabotage our well intended behaviors and we are back in old familiar territory.
"The secret to real change is knowing that external choices alone will not hold up a resolution. "
You not only have to implement the change but, you need to have created a clear decisive plan about how to support yourself to do so when your mind or heart gets triggered into reactive patterns.
" When you write out your resolution, include a plan to resolve the pattern not only from a physical place, but with a plan of action to address it spiritually, emotionally and mentally when it arises. "
For instance…..if you plan to give up “comfort eating late at night”....you will need to plan for it to succeed not only with your intent, but by backing it up. You can use this list to replace virtually any behavior . Eating, smoking, drinking, etc.
Here is an example of a plan that could lead to lasting success.
- Be willing to stop and breathe and feel what is setting off the impulse to eat. ( mental & emotional awareness) Do not eat anything until you have sat quietly and in stillness for five minutes and really asked is this truly what I want.
- Look in the mirror and face yourself and talk kindly and with compassion to yourself out loud about what is really happening that is making you reach for this unwanted urge; until you feel your eyes and heart and intent align back emotionally with caring for your self in a new way . ( emotional connection).
- Reach out to someone who can remind you of your intent...pick a buddy who you feel safe with to agree to support each other with your specific intentions and have a check in daily time at the time you tend to slide . We all need supportive witnesses.
- Ask yourself what other feeling are you really looking for right now out of eating and envision a way to give this to yourself…( spiritual support). Find someone ( coach, counselor, friend) who can help you develop this understanding and bring that into your life.
- Do not keep food that triggers you in the house. ( physical support).
- Eat nourishing and healthy foods that you enjoy throughout the day so you are not in a state of lack at night. Make your meals beautiful and pleasing to look at so you are not in a state of lack.. Be sure and drink at least 8 glasses of water a day to stay hydrated and full.
- Put a sign up on your refrigerator with your intention for the New Year and a picture of a signed contract you have with your highest self.
- Reward yourself with a new behavior or a bonus gift of some sort. Sometimes we need incentive. For instance; For every time you stop yourself from breaking your commitment and following through with your action plan…. You could put a dollar into a bucket for a bucket list item, be it gift, coaching appointment, trip, savings account, or extravagence and feel better.
- Go outside and walk around your block and feel your body and clear your mind, Look at the moon and the stars. Walk in the rain and clear your mind.
There are so many other things I could list here as ways to help create a plan that works. These are just examples to remind you that a revolutionary 2020 starts is possible and commitments to change do work when we commit to other things to replace those negative patterns with.
" Being truly ready for change is about the biggest step to achieving it. "
When we are truly sick of our negative spirals or cyclical patterns we will decide to face them. In 2019 I finished a lifelong pattern of over indulging in food that I never believed I could complete. I did it by caring for myself truly from the inside. I did it for no one else. No fantasy of being loved more the results of it. No fantasy of having the perfect body because of it. No wish to be seen by anyone else differently. Just my deep longing to truly be at peace and no longer run by a cycle that brought me exhaustion going up and down with it.
I did it for me because I love myself enough to choose peace. I could no longer allow stressors outside of myself to be managed by this outdated self soothing pattern. I needed to go deeper in my commitment to my life to allow new creative impulses to shine. This pattern was outdated and took way too much of my life force. So i did it! I will never ever again be stuck here. I know this to be true because this time I worked my plan from the inside out.
Make 2020 your year to change from the inside out and make the resolutions you need to get support to help you to do so!
Trying to change to impress someone on the outside never works. There is someone always listening inside of us asking, “Why are you really doing this new behavior. Is it truly because you love me? Or do you think changing your behavior will make others love you? “